What is Parenting?

My thoughts for today - parenting is hard.  No, being part of a family is hard.  Because when you love people as much as you love your family, it hurts just as much when they are hurting.
Today I'm sharing my thoughts, but please understand it is not judgment.  It is introspection.  Reflection on my own understanding of what it means to be a mom.  Writing has always been one of my main coping mechanisms.  This time I'm writing it here in hopes that it will be encouraging and reassuring to those who call themselves parents.

Parenting is a miracle.  And it has the most demanding job description of any one you will ever find. 
You see, babies are miracles.  Our God is so big and so omnipotent that he can take two microscopic cells and make a life out of them.  Two cells that are nothing more than a dot in a microscope grow into a living being.  But He doesn't stop there.  Then He enables this little miracle to love and be loved.  To show compassion and empathy and curiosity and joy.  Because our God is not just powerful; He is compassionate.
He does not keep these miracles to himself either.  He asks us to take care of this child He has created and who is His. 
That's a lot of trust.  I don't even like people to borrow my purple fine-point Sharpie, yet God has asked me to care for one of his most precious creations.  A creation that is irreplacable.
You know why He does it?  Because He wants us to have joy.  And that is what a baby is.  Joy in its purest form.  He wants us to understand, in some small way, what it is like to love without condition.  To feel about someone the way He feels about us.

Parenting. Much of our society has whittled the single most amazing miracle known to man down to a trite compilation of arts and crafts projects.
Parenting is not about Pinterest or Facebook posts or Instagram feeds.
Parenting is not about the nursery color scheme or the Top Mom Apps or losing the baby weight.
I owe Eli an apology. 
I have probably spent as much time praying for him as I have spent posting his pics on the internet.  Man, that's hard to swallow.
The day before Eli was born I wrote him a letter.  I thought about posting it. 
I didn't.  It was for him.
But now that I am 8 months into this parenting gig, I have learned a thing or two.  About myself.  When I go back and read the letter, I realize it had a lot of wisdom.  Wisdom that I wrote down in a journal and then promptly ignored.  Because no one asks 'What are your hopes and dreams for your baby?"  "What do you pray for him at night?"  "What are your joys and fears about being a mom?" 
Nope.  They We ask 'What kind of diapers are you using?' 'What products can you not live without?'
So these are the things we think about and talk about and blog about.
 
In the letter, I wrote, "Eli, the world will want you to DO things, and HAVE things, and BE things.  The world will tell you to be smart and competitive and polite and successful.  There will be times that's what we want for you too.  But God is your Father and He wants nothing more than your faithfulness, devotion and love for others." 

Have I spent as much time worrying about his spiritual development as I have his physical, cognitive and social-emotional development?  Is there a spiritual milestone chart on BabyCenter?  What is more important to me - that he rolls over or learns to love other people?  Of course, I want both of those things, but we don't always get everything we want - so I need to make sure I have my priorities straight.

Here's the hard part - Not all of our babies get to come home and enjoy their perfectly coordinated chevron bumper with their homemade wall decor.  Not all babies get to go to library story time and mother's day out and meet all their developmental milestones on time. 

But, look at them.  They are happy just to be alive.  They love unconditionally.  They never question your loyalty and they never wish you were a better parent.  In fact, in your child's eyes, you are perfect and beautiful in every way.
Why do we make it so complicated?  Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves?  Why do we make a big deal out of the small stuff and a small deal out of the big stuff?  Why can't we appreciate parenting for what it is? 

For all you moms and dads - whether your children are biological or adopted or foster - give yourself a break from the world's checklist of what makes a good parent.  Your child does not care what is on the walls or how many Facebook posts you've made.  Erase everything from your to-do list except for these...

1.  Love them
2.  Pray for them
3.  Teach them
4.  Be joyful
5.  Be open-minded
6.  Be thankful

That is what parenting is.  If you have done this, then you have cared for God's precious creation - whether for just one day or many years.